bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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