Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
