come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
