worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
