What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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