I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
