Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
