he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
