I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
They have beer where we have blood.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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