dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
