You're completely useless in the revolution.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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