i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize