yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
