I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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