Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
