I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
