Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
