I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
