McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
