He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
