in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
