hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
