I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
