i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
