awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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