his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize