Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize