I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
