My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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