but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
