actually, I'm a sock model
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
