Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize