i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
As shirtless as possible
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
