What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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