don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's Friday. Sex?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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