"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
