We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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