No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
