when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
