Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
