She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
