Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
