finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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