I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
