I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
