Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think I sprained my soul last night
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
