I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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