Cold hands, warm shart.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
