It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
