Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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