D3 body, D1 cock
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
