I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
