So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Boobs are out for the taking
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
