No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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