At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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