these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
