I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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