Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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