is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
