So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
