can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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