its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
