Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
