the condom got lost in my hair
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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