You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You dont lie about slip and slides
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
