My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
